We have all had our own fair share of expectations that never materialized, expectations that caused us so much frustration, maybe even expectations others have put on ourselves. I write about expectations today on my blog simply because it seems that we still hang on to it like a low-lying fruit that’s ready to eat all the time, what if it’s the opposite that happens, are we ready to expect the unexpected? Here are four views on the concept of expectations from four various people coming from different perspectives –
The saint said– People can often be unreasonable, irrational, and self-centered but forgive them anyway. If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives but be kind anyway. If you are successful, you will win some unfaithful friends and some genuine enemies, succeed anyway. If you are honest and sincere, people may deceive you, be honest and sincere anyway. What you spend years creating, others could destroy overnight, create anyway. If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous, be happy anyway. The good you do today will often be forgotten, do good anyway. Give the best you have, and it will never be enough, give your best anyway. In the final analysis, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway. Expect only the best from who you are.
The backpacker said– You will have your heart broken more than once and it gets harder every time. You would expect it to be better since you’ve been there and done that, but in reality it doesn’t work that way. You will break hearts too, so remember what it felt like to have yours broken. You will fight with your best friend, you will blame a new love for things an old one did. You will cry because time is passing too fast and eventually you will lose someone you love. So take too many pictures, laugh too much and love like you’ve never been hurt because every sixty seconds you spend upset is a minute of happiness you will never get back. Expect only to spend time with people who matter and no matter what pay it forward and expect nothing in return.
The businessman said– Those who truly love you are not fooled by mistakes you have made or dark images you hold about yourself. They remember your beauty when you feel ugly; your wholeness when you are broken; your innocence when you feel guilty; and your purpose when you are confused. So expect only yourself to appreciate them, they’re the ones worth keeping.
Expectations should run on the premise of learning to love the fool in you, the one who feels too much, talks too much, takes too many chances, wins sometimes and loses often, lacks self-control, loves and hates, gets hurt, promises and breaks promises, laughs and cries. It alone protects you against that utterly self-controlled, masterful tyrant whom you also harbour and who would rob you of human aliveness, humility and dignity. It is human to expect to love your own personal fool.
Tough times teach you to bring out the best in you. Tough times push you into being you and being true – to others and most of all to yourself. Embrace the individual inside you that has great ideas, strengths and beauty like no one else. No one else can dictate what you should be and do except yourself. Expectations are sometimes the greatest source of disappointments.
Expect to know and acknowledge your worth. Don’t expect positive outcomes in life when you surround yourself with negativity. Never settle for anything you do not deserve. Learn to walk away, you will know when the right time is.
Perspective leads to managed expectations, so choose the right one for you. When faced with seemingly frustrating situations such as traffic, long cues in the bank – you have two choices – either you get mad or you can probably view it as some sort of a “pause” in your busy life, a “guilt free” breather from the hustle and bustle of crowds. The first option can raise your blood pressure; the other option can actually be an opportunity for you to think about things you have procrastinated on. Either way you choose how you will draw the good out of the expectations each of these situations may bring.
Never allow past hurts punish you from your present dreams. Learn to let go of things you cannot control. The more you run away from it, the more it will catch up on you. Just face it and focus on making it. Never expect anyone to do this for you.
Expect from yourself to straighten your priorities. As we all advance in age, it will not matter what shoes you wore today, how your hair looked, how glamorous your make-up was or what brand of clothes you wore. What will matter is how you loved, what you learned and how you applied all these in your relationships with others and you.
Learn to make things happen for you. Take responsibility for your goals. You cannot sit and hope that things will just “fall into place”; many times you will realize that you need to make it happen. Make your own future; your destiny is not tied to the actions and choices of others anyway.
When you release expectations, you are free to enjoy things for what they are instead of what you think they should be. – Mandy Hale
Realize and choose the things that truly matter. The problem with us is we seem to know what matters but we postpone choosing it and so we end up expecting it to just happen on the right time. We get distracted. The most difficult but smartest way to live is choosing what truly matters and passionately pursuing it. Don’t expect results without action.
Learn to expect to only stand up for you and what you believe in your heart is true. You are here to be you and not someone else. The most potent toxin in life is to detach the “you” from accepting how you truly feel and want. You may lie to others but never to yourself.
Hurts are lessons. Many of us fail in the beginning but move on when you must. You live, you learn then you move on. Realize that people come into your life either as a blessing or learning, I would like to believe it is both all the time. We are all winners in the end.
The best things in life happen unexpectedly – so expect it to be. Life begins at the end of your comfort zone as previously mentioned on my blog. If you are beginning to be uncomfortable now, know and be assured that a good change is coming soon and is about to enfold. Allow it and watch the magic unfold. It will be your new and beautiful beginning.
Live the width of your life and not much of its length. Be who you were born to be. Living passionately is a challenge – it entails walking not only in learning to walk the extra mile but in walking comfortably in your own inspired and amazing self.
This is your life. Shape it up and don’t expect others to do the shaping for you. Bear in mind that strength is all about accepting what, where and who you truly want in your heart – the core of your BEING.
Keep learning, adapting, growing – do not fear – you may not be there yet, but believe that you are getting closer than you were yesterday. Freedom happens when you detach yourself from too much expectations and learn to embrace you, at the end of the day you don’t need to prove anything to anyone but yourself.