When Love is Not Enough

In this day and age I think love is over-sensationalized that it creates us, or some of us at that, to begin developing a mindset of unrealistic expectations about how love should be, actually is and what it can do for us. But really the question is – when is love not enough? For me to address the question here are the realities of that thing called love.

  1. Compatibility does not equate to love. Some people get blinded with being in love with “love”, so it doesn’t mean that just because you jive well and feel you’re compatible does not really equate that your relationship may run long-term. Bear in mind that just like any other phenomenon in this world, love is a major one so it takes time, effort and logical thinking at that, you need to work on making things happen. It may sound really far out but the ironies may play a role in this – we may fall in love with someone who doesn’t love us back, who doesn’t treat us well and at the extreme those who don’t even respect us as much as we do. You may fall in love with someone with a different ambition and life goals which contradict yours – the list may go on but what’s important is the choice you make to move forward or leave. Love ain’t about “chemistry” at all.

Love yourself first so you know what you deserve. – Karen Salmansohn

Looking back on the failed relationships I have seen, many of them were entered into on the basis of emotion – they felt the “spark” and jumped into it anyway thinking that perhaps that “spark” is the trigger for one to say he or she’s the one and it just felt right. A few months after they start cursing each other and find themselves staring in blank space squeezing the answers from their brains on “what went wrong”. The reality is, it was wrong before it even began.

Love yourself enough to know when to walk away or stay - you have a choice. Always.

Love yourself enough to know when to walk away or stay – you have a choice. Always.

Make use of your mind while your heart works when a potential partner comes along. It’s a nice feeling to be inspired but as much as possible avoid getting too drawn into it that you fail to see what the other person’s values are, what their ambitions are, and how they treat others because again love is not enough.

  1. Relationship issues are definitely not solved by love. You know the drill – love conquers all, right?  But it shouldn’t conquer and take the place of rationality, it shouldn’t compensate something you feel that is lacking in your life, love makes you feel so much better but delineate it from your other relationship issues, it doesn’t solve it at all. You need to have a strong foundation to not be washed up by the intoxicating emotions love brings. Keep your feet on the ground.
  2. Love is not always worth the sacrifice. They say that your willingness to go out of yourself to serve the other is the kind of sacrifice true love is characterized of but my question is just how much should you sacrifice, what are you sacrificing and the million dollar question – is it worth it?

A good working relationship augments our individual identity, and it should never damage it, realizing that each day is a process and a journey you’re willing to travel to. Bear in mind that the only way you can fully enjoy love in your life is to choose to make an effort in sustaining it and making it grow. Never fall back into the comfort level that they’ll always be there no matter what. True love makes you strive to be a better version of yourself without sacrificing your own sensibility.

Love is everywhere – yes it is, and it can come in various forms and features, but your dignity, individuality and self-respect is not, so keep the latter ones intact and keep those people who value them. Love is patient and kind so to speak and it is beautiful but in the end there’s more to it than meets the eye.

Happy hearts day to all!

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