Shit happens, to you to anyone and the reality is we need to own up to it most of the time but I guess that’s what life keeps telling us, or make that life keeps teaching us. Our mindset plays a huge part in how we approach life as is.
I came across an article on Thought Catalog which spoke about self-love and it struck me pretty bad but in a good way. It spoke of self-love being ugly and having to face your own demons and that for me spoke the truth. We’d love to sugarcoat self-care and self-love as terms used to pamper ourselves, yes it can be but if we dig deeper it goes beyond that. Recalling the terrible days that have happened to you and days when you thought that you simply just can’t pull through, these are the days when you need to begin to love yourself enough to acknowledge, accept and here goes… move on.
Tattoo that on your brain, the thoughts that run through our minds play a huge part. Sharing with you some thoughts that you might want to get over with so we may experience that thing called inner peace. Besides, inner peace is a part of that thing called self-care, here goes –
- “I feel useless, I need to be doing something right now.”
This stems out from our belief of being productive and eventually achievement that manifests as discontentment. Realize that you don’t need to be productive all the time what matters is the small steps you take towards achieving your goals and it doesn’t equate to getting pressured into productivity and achievement always, I mean it’s a good driver but don’t mistake it with overwhelming yourself with the need to do something at your own expense.
- “I’ll be happy only when I get what I want.”
We sometimes put a lot of conditions in our lives to say that we are happy but I guess the key here is to acknowledge what we have at the present and just appreciate how far you have gone, happiness will always follow, that’s of course with the determination to hurdle the downtimes in between.
The secret of change is to focus all of your energy not on fighting the old but in building the new. ~ Socrates
- “Inner peace is a complicated process, it’s difficult.”
We’ve come to the belief that inner peace is having no problems and just being happy al the time. My take on this is there will always be chaos and turmoil in this world but as long as in your heart you know you’ve made peace with your past and is determined that somehow you’ll make it, that’s inner peace. Oftentimes it is letting go of our pain and our baggages that take us forward.
- “I don’t want to show my real emotions, people think I’m strong, showing it might make them think I’m weak.”
It’s a stigma in itself to label those who break down and cry as weaklings or even “crybabies”, nowadays with all the burden we carry on our shoulders I guess it takes a brave person to just be their own authentic selves. No one in this world was built to be strong, but we were all built to “build on being strong” as a result of the challenges we face.
- “I don’t think people will like the real me so I’ll try to be different.”
It’s sometimes a given that we hide certain aspects of who we really are, how we are to others may not be how we are in private. But please do remember those people or make that your real friends will accept the real you because, in the real world, there is much value in honesty.
- “They say life progresses so I think I should be happier right now.”
Yes, life progresses but there will be bumps in the road throughout the journey, again, the key here is to appreciate what you have now and be content.
- “Being and doing my best seems to be not good enough compared to others.”
When you can spare yourself of this idea you’ll realize that the seemingly competition of being your best self is toxic. Learn to love and appreciate yourself now, as you are, without needing to be someone else before feeling fine.
- “I can’t seem to forget about my past, I feel it consuming me and I’m scared of it repeating itself all over again.”
As what I always say let not your pain define you, it was there for a reason which we may never seem to comprehend now but sooner or later just like any puzzle, the pieces will all fall into its right corners and places.
- “People don’t seem to understand me, there must be something wrong with me.”
While it may hold true that self-awareness is also needed for us to know ourselves more please remember also that you, at times, do not owe anybody an explanation of who you truly are, you need to realize that people differ and that we all have different levels of perception. Let go of the need to please others to make you feel good, besides they don’t need to live up to the consequence of your decisions.
Change takes time and so these beliefs, just like the time that was spent building on them, will also take time in getting over them so be patient with yourself and the process. Little by little, you’ll learn and come out a better person in the end, as always.