On Second Chances

What exactly does it really mean when you give another a second chance? When are second chances applicable? If you find yourself asking this question in your past relationship, then the chances that you two have dealt with tremendous challenges are likely. Most especially if one got hurt more. However what happens if you still care about the other and want to remain committed to the relationship to really sort things out but at the same time you realize the importance of loving yourself first before you can give love to someone else. Difficult dilemma indeed but here’s when I loop back to my opening question for today’s entry – When do you know when a second chance is warranted? How would you know if boundaries have already been crossed pushing you to say “enough is enough” ?

Second chances are not given to make things right but are given to prove that we could be better even after we fall.

You know you need to give it a second chance if –

You hold that certain feeling in your heart and believe even if you’ve gone through a lot. If this person has earned your trust and you visibly saw how he or she worked on your commitment previously then it’s probably worth giving it another chance. The real question is whether you believe that change can happen and if you’re willing to both exert hard work in making it “work” for the both of you.

You’re willing to forgive, move on and willing to work through the challenge. Basic fact of life is all relationships will and have their own share of problems. At some point you’ve got to decide how much you’re willing to invest in and on the other hand also think about how much you’re getting from the relationship in itself. Just always keep respect intact at all times.

On the other end of the spectrum some relationships are also not worth keeping anymore, here are some tell-tale signs –

There’s no trust anymore. Honesty plays a key role here – honesty to self and to the other. You would know in your heart if it’s time to stay or go. If deep in your heart you know that giving the other a second chance will get you hurt again, then think again and this time do the right thing and walk away. It’s easier said than done and yes it’s difficult but again sometimes the most difficult thing to do may be the right move after all. Learn to say no and mean it.

You see a pattern of a destructive habit. We’re talking about second chances here and sometimes when you have given the other a second, third, fourth chance before and still counting then it’s most likely a sign that you need to let go. Pattern is seeing the same attitude and behavior over and over again, so stop lying to yourself and face reality.

All the inputs previously mentioned boil down to one basic principle and that’s care and love for self. If taking care and loving yourself is defined as forgiving and working hard to save a relationship that’s been broken, then forgive and commit to working hard to make things well and good again. But on the other hand taking care of yourself may also mean being honest with yourself enough to acknowledge that it’s time to let go. Making that move will not be easy, but think and keep your eye on what it could do for you as you open your doors to newer and brighter possibilities in the future – which always happens.