What Matters In Relationships

Relationships are probably one of the most feared encounters of all time — starting one or getting into one. Question is, should it be feared or not? Answer will be subjective and it will vary based on how it was molded to be in one’s life, but honestly I think it should be welcomed rather than feared.

What then are real relationships made of? A lot of tension and traction but balanced with communication. The tension a relationship is subjected to when trying to sustain it despite all odds is enormous. The challenges and difficulties are felt within the relationship and obstacles may seem endless between the two who are attempting to make things fine between them but you know what breaks this chain or possibility so to speak? Communication.  Having have to talk with each other with no judgement is the best.

Love says “no” as effortlessly as it says “yes”, because it seeks far more than to be inoffensive. Love is kind even to another’s ego, but it should never be afraid of it. As humans, we are instinctively equipped with allowing love in us to side with the basic goodness of the other person, practice looking at the fears a possible relationship gives you and never question it if you are deserving of it or not. We all deserve to be loved by someone, we all deserve a beautiful relationship provided that we are absolutely clear that the single goal is for us to have peace and genuine happiness. Again, do not depend on your partner for you to grow. Good relationships are interdependent, to be supportive without compromising each of your values or even sacrificing yourself for the relationship. The key here is to balance your time for yourself and for the other.

The greatest loneliness stems out from the perception of “selfishness works” and “being alone will protect and shelter you from pain again.” The true need is as simple as merely to love, to accept, to be open and to be real. You’ve got to get in touch with the spaciousness of your heart and make sure that you bring awareness to what is good within you.

Realize that you need to accept your partner for what he or she truly is and not what you expect them to be. Easy to say but a very common trap. Be willing to learn from each other, we cannot avoid moments that may be triggers for us to be upset with the other and vice versa but learn to look beyond it instead of pointing fingers and resort to blaming, remain awake to what has yet to be healed in yourself.

When someone makes you the happiest person and the saddest person at the same time, that’s when it’s real. That’s when it’s worth something.

The making of a real relationship is before you now – in whatever form it takes. They are already within the bounds of your present daily routine. There is no end to the many potentials of having a good relationship — if only a start is made and the effort exerted and continued in the best way as you can. It doesn’t have to be special all the time sometimes embracing ordinariness can lead to the extraordinary in relationships.

Simply remember that the effort is to open your mind and heart to see innocence, it is to think gently and not allow fear to overcome what seems to be a part of what will complete your own heart’s desires – only then you will discover the magic of making relationships last.

Here’s a quote from Bob Marley which I really love –

“She loved before she may love again.
But if she loves you now, what else matters?
She’s not perfect — you aren’t either, and the
two of you may never be perfect together
but if she can make you laugh, cause you to
think twice, and admit to being human and
making mistakes, hold onto her and give
her the most you can. She may not be
thinking about you every second of the day,
but she will give you a part of her that she
knows you can break — her heart. So don’t
hurt her, don’t change her, don’t analyze and
don’t expect more than she can give.
Smile when she makes you happy, let her
know when she makes you mad, and miss
her when she’s not there.”

Never abandon anyone in your heart. Whenever you step back with your body, step forward with your mind and act upon it with your heart.

 

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