Good relationships don’t just happen, they take time, effort and so much hard work. Communication and trust, just like a recipe for a dish, are essential ingredients to make a good cuisine called relationship. But how are relationships really like nowadays? We envision getting into one but are we really working hard to achieve one? Relationships need not be romantic too, they are mostly also about others and ourselves. Relationships are really about giving more than receiving but take note that a balanced one is too ideal, it entails one that seems to be giving out “more” but bear in mind that it doesn’t really matter – a good relationship doesn’t count the number of gives and takes, what matters is the effort behind it – remember the word “perspective” and here are my takes –
It’s dangerous to assume that the world of the other revolves around you. Plain and simple – it’s not all about YOU. There’s also that factor of emotions getting to be really draining and stressful because of external factors that one tends to bring in as baggages to the extent of sacrificing the essence of how the relationship should be – and that’s really about nurturing the growth of the other. Don’t allow these baggages to break you apart.
Honesty matters. Your other half is not a psychic so they cannot read your minds. Most of the time conflict begins with pent-up emotions, when one acts like “it’s nothing” but deep inside something is brewing up. It’s also a whole new dimension when your mind starts to create a problem that isn’t there, as they say, avoid practicing your problems, however if something is wrong say so. The more you hesitate, the more you hold back, the more it will boomerang forward thus creating a bigger conflict.
Realize that life happens and don’t go desperately searching for one. Some relationships end not because one did something “wrong” but they just drift apart because of differing paths in life. It’s always a choice to accept it or not. Disconnection starts when you begin to give conditions according to your terms without considering what your partner wants.
Arguments can be healthy. Don’t fear disagreements. Always place yourselves in a position where compromise is the end point. If you want a relationship to work you need to treat it in a political angle of it encouraging freedom of speech or even freedom “to be” – a democratic one instead of something that is dictatorial. You may not realize it but growth is stunted when you begin controlling the other and we don’t want that to happen. Confrontations don’t help.
Entering into relationships should not be something you venture into to fix your life. Remember that no one can ever fix you but yourself. Go figure out what really makes you happy and go for it.
A perfect relationship isn’t perfect, it’s just that both people never gave up.
Time between relationships is just as valuable as being into a relationship. Never miss an opportunity to find time to do the simple things that matter. You see I have heard of sad stories of couples drifting apart simply because of having no time to be together, it may be a Herculean task for some but you’re supposed to grow together instead of apart but leave some space in between, it’ll be good for both of you as individuals.
Lastly, leave the past behind and move forward, staying stuck on it will not make you emerge from it.