One of the most difficult things to do is clearly communicate how we feel, what we need or even speak up in the first place. Here’s where ‘’communication-is-all-about-the-heart” clause matters. We all, at some point in our lives would find ourselves wanting to connect and be understood. We all can benefit from proper communication, when we improve our communication we all get into a win-win situation. Improving on communication is about becoming more sensitive to others, even the smallest details matter such as eye movements, arm and hand movements, and most especially tone of voice.

Establish rapport. Try and maintain a good rapport with whom you’re speaking with. If the other seems to be hesitant, don’t force it, wait before jumping in. Be aware when emotions are beginning to show. See the other with a different lens and I’m pretty sure you’ll achieve a new level of connection.

Learn to listen. The secret to effective communication is to listen closely, not just to give your opinion but more of understanding and leveling with the other. Hold back on thoughts that may trigger negative emotions and step back if needed. Remember to keep your eyes on the goal and that’s to connect, understand and be understood. Accept your personal reactions and needs, at the same time maintain a clear mind so you can really listen to the other person. People get affirmed in knowing that others are interested in them no one wants to listen to just one side and a blabber at that, so ask questions and be curious but not to the point of meddling, you would know what I mean. The more revealed, the deeper the connection the greater the trust so take care of it.

Learn when to take a deep breath and pause. This specially holds true when you feel emotions of anger and frustration rising up. Nothing gets really solved in heated arguments it’s when we lose the essence of communication in the first place. When faced with a difficult conversation, try to keep about 10 percent of your attention, or more if necessary, on your inner reactions. Acknowledge that the moment is challenging, take a deep breath, and accept how you feel. You also might want to approach the conversation from a different angle by asking for clarifications, focusing on listening, and sharing how you feel without blaming. If you feel that you need to take a break, then go ahead and do so, continue the conversation when you are calmer.

We have two ears and one mouth so that we can listen twice as much as we speak. - Epictetus
We have two ears and one mouth so that we can listen twice as much as we speak. – Epictetus

Lessen your expectation. You’ve probably engaged in a conversation, a problematic one, over and over. Having said this, expectation keeps the conversation pointless before it even commences. You probably are not seeing the other person clearly or you may seem to view them based on your own expectations so let go of it and set it aside and begin with a fresh and clear mind. Triple your efforts to observe, listen, and be open to the possibility of new insights and outcomes. There’s absolutely no room for bias if you want a conversation to move forward.

Learn to affirm. Having an attitude of gratitude always pays. Living in a world where there’s so much criticism and hate, why not send more love out? This is possible with good communication. Offer a sincere compliment, express your gratitude by speaking genuinely about what you appreciate. Don’t take the people who matter to you for granted.

The most important thing in communication is to hear what isn’t being said.

Communication from the heart breaks down boundaries and walls that keep us apart. Once we learn to open our minds into seeing the other as is and listening closely and with a heart, that’s where healing begins and connection is sustained.