The line in one my gazillion favorite songs sort of says it all, it’s by Dianne Reeves by the way, and she says “You can’t get to know better days unless you make it through the night.”

Opposites really do attract. Negativity can be optimism in disguise. We all have our own personal setbacks, hurts, issues, concerns, fears, unearthed feelings, and endless descriptions of turmoils in life but we all need them in the first place, otherwise we will never grow. We will never graduate from the lesson called life unless we learn to move out from these setbacks and decide to move forward.

In my previous blog I mentioned about choices being just either a yes or no. Maybe is just a stopover. Final destination will just be one. I can only share my personal approach in how I make my own decisions, minor or major, I would always attach the clause “unless” such that – I will never close this deal UNLESS, I will never be free of this feeling UNLESS, I will never be happy UNLESS, I will always feel alone UNLESS – Endless negativities and impossibilities but UNLESS we realize that we always have a choice to go the other way and that there will always be another option that’s all going to work out for our good, we will find ourselves always stuck in the same situation over and over again. Everybody gets dizzy when going on circles, so we’ve got to somehow decide to pause for a while and decide on the “unless”. That’s where you gain traction in being able to find your way through the positivity in what seems to be a negativity in your life, that’s what I learned.

If there is probably one trait in me that I am grateful for, that will be my passion for listening to others talk about their lives, how they feel or simply just conversing with them. I love to learn about the beauty of different individualities and how they view life and love as it is – Makes every day an extraordinary experience for me. Allow me though to share common thoughts I have noted on the flow of these treasured conversations I have had, with hopes that when you realize yourself entertaining such, you would reverse it and make them work towards its opposite– and that is positive thinking and eventually positive results towards a better YOU.

The “always/never” phenomenon, happens when we think something that has happened in the past that hurt us will “always” happen and that it will “always” draw the same results, thus we will “never” get what we want because we can already “see it coming”. Our future can never be predicted and that is a solid fact. I will always go back to the power of destiny finding its way to give you your good and well-deserved fate. Try reversing the “always/never” phenomenon into the “it will be different – things will get better someday ” way of thinking and slowly trust in the process of it always attracting positivity into your life. You define the experience of this positivity.

When it rains, it pours… but soon the sun shines again. Keep the positivity intact, better days are on their way.

Thinking with your feelings– negative feelings at that. This occurs when we tend to believe our negative feelings without questioning them. When faced with this– go challenge it as if you want a fight. Remember that feelings are complex in nature and oftentimes we base them upon our past experiences. Feelings on the other hand are our perception of certain situations– never allow the past rule over your present. There is always such a thing called change– and so for a change, try doing a paradigm shift on being open to new, endless and various possibilities.

Labeling is dangerous most especially if you allow them to overrule the real YOU. People can change. ┬áIf you find yourself dwelling on a label you got used to, then it is a strong and indicative sign to rethink on discontinuing labeling yourself with negative traits which are most likely just a front we all take probably as a defense mechanism to supposedly “protect” ourselves from getting hurt all over again. Stop the cycle. Bear in mind that we were all made to be good. Change your brain, change your life, not your anatomic brain but the mind inside your brain. The heart feels what the mind thinks. Feeling differs from thinking. Being true and honest about how you truly feel does not make and label you as weak, instead it makes you human. The result of which is a life that is lived to the fullest.

There is beauty in negativity unless we think and feel otherwise. At the end of the day, the choice is still yours but remember no matter how long the darkness may seem to be there will always be sunshine.