Finding Answers to The “What-Ifs” of Life

I’m pretty sure you’ve had your “what-ifs” moments, in all aspects be it life, love or career but bear in mind that it’s fine to have these wandering mind moments but the end point should always be avoiding the “could-haves, would-haves and should-haves”, which only leads one to regret resulting to misery which we dislike to happen. At the end of our lives, we aim to live it to its maximum capacity, which means facing all the “what ifs” we have had recurring in our minds and hearts and replace this with “what if but I will”.

Worry can be our greatest foe if we allow it to dominate what we truly want in our hearts; but it can also be our ally just as long as we balance it with the ever-reliable courage. It connects to my previous blog about letting go of the sense of controlling too much of our micro-managed lives.

So here goes –

What if I don’t know how to express what I feel?– Then you may develop stumbling blocks and begin developing habits that will prevent you from further moving towards what is meant for you. But you can decide to start to exert an effort to try and express your feelings in the simplest way you can without sacrificing who you really are. No guidebook, no steps, just plain and simply you. Develop a goal to express and not suppress that will eventually lead to progress.

What if I can’t keep my resolutions about the changes I want to make? – Then you may have to review at the kinds of promises you make to yourself and determine realistic limits on what you deem doable for you alone. Learn from the ones you have actually kept on the past.

What if I think my life is too complicated that I seem to have a lot of concerns in mind? – Then you would have to learn to adapt to the fact that life can be simple just as long as you focus, address and most of all take action on the top three major concerns you have. Why three? I revolved it around the basic psyche of man which is mind, body and spirit.

What if I left behind ways that no longer work for me and start again but I’m scared to fail?– Then you would feel discomfort at first and you begin to learn to realize that moving out of your comfort zone will be difficult, however it entails new beginnings for you and once you have decided with your heart that it is what you want, then go for it. Fear is “scared” of courage, but once you face fear with courage, expect freedom and happiness to definitely follow. So there, go ahead and start moving forward.

What if others keep interrupting my day and taking my time?– Then expect your day to be filled with chaos and it will go according to THEIR needs and not YOURS. Your own needs takes a backseat to everything else. Take this chance to restructure your day that will best suit you and learn to set boundaries that can better take care of your needs. Make time instead of finding time. The key is balance otherwise you may find yourself suffering seemingly unnecessary burdens, which should not be yours in the first place.

What if someone I fear challenges me to talk about issues I have been avoiding?– Then take it as a chance to speak your mind, or better yet learn to express your need to this person and walk through it by responding to the challenge. You then transform your fear into something useful and liberating. Remember that the more you run away from what you have been avoiding, the more it will catch up on you in the end; so might as well “face the music”.

Break the rules and stand apart. Ignore your head but follow your heart.

What if they make light of what is important to me?– Then realize that you are not locked into any particular response. No matter what, do what “honors you”; that is respect for individuality. Be your own beautiful YOU.

What if I make a mistake? – Then you would have to risk living a life. Mistakes are inevitable, we will make one, whether we like it or not. It is ironic but the more “careful” we are not to make a mistake, the more we find ourselves committing one. Life and love is similar to going to school and advancing to grade levels – the same lesson will be repeated unless you learn from it. There is no such thing as a perfect life. We are who we are now because of the mistakes we have made in the past. It is a mistake in itself to ever think that you have the power to avoid making one. Face reality with courage and determination in your heart and it will give back to you only what is good for you.

What if I learned to focus on changing myself?– Then you would again be uncomfortable since it would be easier to look outward to change others than focusing on changing yourself. But you will learn that no amount of trying on your part has ever changed others in the first place; if you keep your focus on changing yourself then you can make changes in any situation.

What if I find too many faults in myself? – Then you will surely find nothing that you can do right and you will most likely approach others in the same way. But you can choose to take stock of what needs work on you on a regular basis, bit by bit, and work on some changes. When you find yourself getting tired of beating yourself up with your flaws then it would serve as a clue for you to lighten up. Set reasonable expectations on you and refuse to be your own judge. Honor the small efforts you have made into trying to eliminate what did not work out on you and find yourself more at peace in the end.

“Worry will get you nowhere; it is only through overcoming it with courage and determination that will take you somewhere. Enjoy the adventures of life and love. Keep living, keep loving.”

 

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