Decisions are always difficult, and never trivial. No matter what, choices will always be involved. I have always been fascinated by discernment in the process of making decisions – it involves a deeper sense of what you’ll be dwelling into. It is indeed divine to engage ourselves in discerning over “matters that matter” in our lives. These matters may involve choices such as – Should I stay or go? Should I say yes or no? I can go on about a lot of questions involved but let me boil down to the meat of the matter which is decision-making. I have experienced a lot of turmoils in the past years. I have to admit that I procrastinated over some decisions simply because I did not want to face it point blank. I did not want to face a decision that was not favorable for me, but as what I always mention in my previous blogs, life will always keep on repeating the lesson one has to learn at that time and will never stop unless one learns and faces it – and so I did.
Discernment eliminates what is negative and may be potentially damaging to us. Learning discernment is refining our skill on sensing what will be healthiest and good for us. It is the ability to know in your head what your heart is getting into and wants. Discernment involves both. Many people struggle to try to make a situation or person “right” rather than asking if that situation or person is the best for themselves – a difficult process. But here’s the catch – in the art of discernment, you should first detach yourself from the situation and look at it from a wider angle but during this process and at every level of it you should value yourself and make choices that reflect your self-worth. You know you are into the discerning process if you begin to feel a bit scared of seeing yourself and allowing yourself to be involved in that bound-to-be choice which you know in your heart you need to face and that’s perfectly fine, what matters is you make a choice of entering into making a decision. Fear can be one hell of an obstacle but it can be your friend just as long as you have the courage in you to slowly help you ease out from it – result of which is your much needed freedom and happiness.
Decisions are the hardest thing to make especially when it is a choice between where you should be and where you want to be.
Here are my takes on how to approach the challenge of decision making –
1- Gut feelings matter. This area gives you an idea as to where your heart leads you, in the absence of other decision making process and filters sometimes this is all one has to go to when making a decision. Remember that your own instincts can provide valuable inputs on what’s really inside your heart, park that reasonability side of yours first though.
2- Ask yourself and take a good look if what you’re going to do is the right one. We tend to go with what the majority says but in some instances it feels better to go with something you truly believe in even if it goes against tremendous traction, but whatever happens never compromise your integrity and character.
3- Having a backup plan pays. Let’s face it, sometimes not all our decisions may be right but hey that’s how life teaches us. There’s a fine line between the thinking of great minds and smart ones – the first are made up of structures and complexities but the latter has contingency plans that may catch them if they fall so to speak. Either way they both contribute to make this world a better place.
4- Decisions may require seeking help from others. It’s perfectly fine to seek consult from others but keep in mind that the final decision will always come from you alone. Learn to make the best decision as possible and don’t be a victim of analysis paralysis, here’s where a mix of intuitive thinking and input from others will come in. Make a decision to make “the” decision. It is what it is.
Lastly, learn to listen to your inner voice. No worries because discernment protects and gives attention to our deepest sensitivities, it carries only what is best for us.