You get your heart broken then you either start to become bitter or better. Situation familiar? That’s the broken heart syndrome. You see love is a complex situation to be in, at the same time that it can either be the best thing that ever happened to you or the worst for those who have been badly hurt. Many times I’ve been asked how do I put together a shattered heart, well we can start off by acknowledging that it’s broken and that healing is a journey you should take step by step, walking not running. There’s no such thing as a quick fix to the so-called broken heart syndrome, but here’s the catch before I begin please know that life goes on and that you’ll come out from this as a better person all the time. Hope these points help you –
- Experience the pain instead of avoiding it. One needs to grieve and not rush the process, it’s the only way to find your way out of it. By going through pain, you surface as a stronger person ready to face anything head on and pretty soon the pain will not have a stronghold in you anymore.
- Try to detach and get comfortable with independence. There is much power in telling one’s self that – I don’t need anyone to make me happy, that’s when detachment begins to happen. It was never anyone’s responsibility to fill one’s emptiness, you can do it and make it all possible.
- Do something for others. When you convert your attention to help others you do yourself a favor of reaching out to someone else who may be in much pain than you, and that in itself is the miracle of healing through helping others.
- Acknowledge and give way to your emotions. Never deny yourself of feelings that you own. Cry if you must but at the same time, when you are ready, go out with friends to destress and laugh again, its benefits are immeasurable. And don’t over-analyze your feelings too, it just causes so much stress which is the least thing you need at this point.
- Divert your attention to physical activities. Physiologically, exercise increases the activity of our “happy” hormones and brain receptors so engaging in walking, running or any type of exercise helps you heal both physically and mentally. Exercise is medicine.
- Release your resentments and find closure. The release of resentment entails forgiveness which converts into hope – to believe that there’s always something better that will happen in return, that the emptiness you’re experiencing won’t stay forever, that one day all will fall into its proper place again.
Things end and people leave. And you know what? Life goes on. Besides if bad things didn’t happen how would you be able to feel the good ones? – Elizabeth Scott
Getting our hearts broken is a part of life, no relationship is really perfect and really if you’re not meant to be together then it really won’t happen. The pain of a loss is great and it really takes time to heal but the process in itself is the most important in our growth as an individual, as they say – no pain no gain. The pain should make you better not bitter and it shouldn’t define you as well. We always have two choices in the end of what seems to be a devastating heartbreak, either we build walls or open doors again, here’s to high hopes that you choose to love again.